My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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