am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
