I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
