But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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