I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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