I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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