8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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