All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
