apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
