how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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