i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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