she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
