he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
