shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
