I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
