I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just want nice things and good sex
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
