Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
