do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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