Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize