Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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