Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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