he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Randomize