Soap is not a condiment
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
