Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
