i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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