He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
