I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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