I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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