Swine flu. Run for my life!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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