I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
