i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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