Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
