All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I have fence marks all over my body
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
