chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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