he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
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I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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