I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
