Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
it's great music for shaving your balls
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
