well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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