shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
they need to just BURY HIM!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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