he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
