I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
