this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
