i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
