yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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