saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
