Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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