I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
two words...techno handjob
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
