WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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