why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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