dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
