similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm sobbing to NWA
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
