Why does Corona taste like a burp?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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