Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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