I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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