Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Dick very happy bro
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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