Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
