Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
