Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
