I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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