I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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