I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
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He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
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No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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