ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
