Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
