JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She's the barista slut.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
