she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
