Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
