the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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