I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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