she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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